How you
can attract your devotee so easy when you try this method, it may be that
you spend hours chatting with him or he.
This is another very common mistake, but I realize it's very easy to make. It would SEEM that talking to her for hours, on the phone or the Internet, would build the connection between you and her.
This is another very common mistake, but I realize it's very easy to make. It would SEEM that talking to her for hours, on the phone or the Internet, would build the connection between you and her.
But it
doesn't.
It makes you feel AFFECTION towards her, because you're being funny, and understanding, and you're a good listener... but it does not build ATTRACTION.
One of the keys to make your devotee feel attraction is limiting your availability.
Sure, it's easier said than done. I realize that.
Before I
mastered the dating game, I made this mistake all the
time.
time.
Because of
my work schedule, I didn't go out during the week. I was usually home at night,
messing around on my computer.
And if a cute girl or guy wanted to chat online, I would be
happy to spend HOURS chatting with devotee.. THINKING that you were creating this wonderful "bond" that would lead to sex and a relationship. But it doesn’t help.
And if a cute girl or guy wanted to chat online, I would be
happy to spend HOURS chatting with devotee.. THINKING that you were creating this wonderful "bond" that would lead to sex and a relationship. But it doesn’t help.
Well, and
it doesn’t work this way.
As a mature, successful spur you want he/she
to know that you're busy. You've got other shit to do! And when you don't tell he/she
exactly WHAT is keeping you so busy, he/she instincts are going to think you
might have other women or men in your life. Women are hardwired to be jealous
and competitive verse versa. (Use this
to your advantage!)
Here's another assumption I want to admit
You would THINK that letting He or She know you're completely single and available to he or she , whenever your spurs wants to talk...that you have NO other romantic options right now...would increase your spurs interest in you. And it doesn’t work
you’ve got to frame yourself as the PRIZE.
Here's another assumption I want to admit
You would THINK that letting He or She know you're completely single and available to he or she , whenever your spurs wants to talk...that you have NO other romantic options right now...would increase your spurs interest in you. And it doesn’t work
you’ve got to frame yourself as the PRIZE.
That your
spurs have to WIN you.
Your spurs have to STEP UP because you are a mature, sophisticated guy who doesn't have time for silly small talk and games.
Are you seeing other spurs? If he or she asks you this question, say "I've been dating a few people on a casual basis. “But nothing serious."
This will only stimulate him or her curiosity and it attraction! So when he or she calls you, or sends you an instant message when you're online, you talk to your devotee for a few minutes... ask
your devotee how him or her is doing...get caught up on things with he or she….... and then you politely excuse yourself and make a PLAN to see your devotee again (in real life, not chatting online or talking on the phone)."I'm glad to hear from you, and to know you're doing ok...I need to go handle some things right now, so have a great night..."
Then you mention something that YOU are planning to do, and if may invite your devotee to join you. You do. Example
"By the way, I'm going to check out this new bar on Friday night, my friend Jennifer told me they've got great music and drinks. That is if you are dating a ladies you can tell her so, and if you are dating a guy, you change it this way (I'm going to check out this new bar on Friday night, my friend lusthan told me they've got great music and drinks. Come with me, I think you'll love this place."
(Instead of a bar, this could be a café, a restaurant,
an art gallery, a party..... .any cool place you want to take
your devotee to.)
Also note the fact that "your friend Jennifer" recommended it as a good place. In a subtle way, you're letting her know that you've got other females in your
life. Again, very powerful on a subconscious level!
Your spurs have to STEP UP because you are a mature, sophisticated guy who doesn't have time for silly small talk and games.
Are you seeing other spurs? If he or she asks you this question, say "I've been dating a few people on a casual basis. “But nothing serious."
This will only stimulate him or her curiosity and it attraction! So when he or she calls you, or sends you an instant message when you're online, you talk to your devotee for a few minutes... ask
your devotee how him or her is doing...get caught up on things with he or she….... and then you politely excuse yourself and make a PLAN to see your devotee again (in real life, not chatting online or talking on the phone)."I'm glad to hear from you, and to know you're doing ok...I need to go handle some things right now, so have a great night..."
Then you mention something that YOU are planning to do, and if may invite your devotee to join you. You do. Example
"By the way, I'm going to check out this new bar on Friday night, my friend Jennifer told me they've got great music and drinks. That is if you are dating a ladies you can tell her so, and if you are dating a guy, you change it this way (I'm going to check out this new bar on Friday night, my friend lusthan told me they've got great music and drinks. Come with me, I think you'll love this place."
(Instead of a bar, this could be a café, a restaurant,
an art gallery, a party..... .any cool place you want to take
your devotee to.)
Also note the fact that "your friend Jennifer" recommended it as a good place. In a subtle way, you're letting her know that you've got other females in your
life. Again, very powerful on a subconscious level!
If you live an hour away from her, and aren't
able to see her every weekend, then set up a plan to have her visit, or for you
to visit her.
The point is, MAKE A PLAN.
After five minutes of chatting, any more time you spend
talking to him or her is making you look available and lonely. Any interesting or meaningful topics of conversation should be addressed when you see her. Plus, this gives you more things to talk about when you spend time together.
The next is that you "pushed” him or her to make a commitment. In retrospect, you realized that this was a mistake... and it was.
Believe me; if your devotee powerfully attracted to you, He or She is the one who will want to have the "commitment" discussion with you at some point.
Especially if he or she senses that you
are a busy, fun, exciting guy with lots of different options.
If YOU push him or her to make a commitment, there's a good chance that he or she attraction to you will cool off.
Why are you asking your devotee this? Why are you eager to be in a relationship? Are you desperate? Do you have some flaw that other devotee have realized? Never have the "commitment" discussion with your devotee. As long as you've framed yourself to him or her the right way,
it's completely unnecessary. When you're not with him or her, your devotee will be thinking about you, and other spurs he or she meets won't seem like an option.
Make your devotee wonder what HE or SHE can do better, in order to have a committed relationship with YOU.
Now, for getting your devotee back in your life, you're
going to have to behave like an Alpha Male and let the chips fall where they may. I don't mean you need to be aggressive, or cocky. You've got to be decisive.
If YOU push him or her to make a commitment, there's a good chance that he or she attraction to you will cool off.
Why are you asking your devotee this? Why are you eager to be in a relationship? Are you desperate? Do you have some flaw that other devotee have realized? Never have the "commitment" discussion with your devotee. As long as you've framed yourself to him or her the right way,
it's completely unnecessary. When you're not with him or her, your devotee will be thinking about you, and other spurs he or she meets won't seem like an option.
Make your devotee wonder what HE or SHE can do better, in order to have a committed relationship with YOU.
Now, for getting your devotee back in your life, you're
going to have to behave like an Alpha Male and let the chips fall where they may. I don't mean you need to be aggressive, or cocky. You've got to be decisive.
You've got to demonstrate that you're a
leader, and lay out a path for he or she to
follow. Get your devotee on the phone. Internet chatting isn't going to help in this situation; it's too impersonal. She's got to hear the confident tone of your voice.
follow. Get your devotee on the phone. Internet chatting isn't going to help in this situation; it's too impersonal. She's got to hear the confident tone of your voice.
Tell your devotee there is a
reason why you've got to come to the area where he or she lives, or close to
it. It could be for business. It could be to see a friend who is having a
birthday party. It could be to get to get a new stereo put in your car. What so
ever. Come up with something that sounds legitimate.
Now tell your devotee, in a
confident and direct manner, "Since I'll be pretty close to where you
live, I'd like to take you to lunch-so what's better for you, Saturday or
Sunday? I want to catch up with you, and tell you about some pretty cool things
that have been happening in my life lately."
Don't chit-chat for 20 minutes. Don't mention ANYTHING about "messing things up with your devotee," or "wanting another chance."Just tell your devotee you're going to be in his or her area to handle something, and you want to take him or her to lunch and tell your spur about some cool things that have been happening in YOUR life.
This will make your devotee curious, and if you keep this conversation short and direct, He or She going to love your confidence. You're also being a leader and laying out a GAME PLAN that is easy for him or her to agree to. You're not saying, "Can I see you again? I really
miss you."
You're saying, "I've got some things to handle, I'll be in your area, let's do lunch on Saturday or Sunday - let me know which day works better for you -because I've got some cool things I want to tell you about."Okay, so what are the "cool things" that have been happening in your life that you'll want to tell her about? That's irrelevant.
Come up with something to tell him or her about when you see him or her. Maybe you've got an idea for a new business. Maybe you're thinking about taking martial arts classes. Maybe there is some new project you're working on. Maybe your best friend finally found a
serious girlfriend or boyfriend. Whatever!
That isn't the point.
Don't chit-chat for 20 minutes. Don't mention ANYTHING about "messing things up with your devotee," or "wanting another chance."Just tell your devotee you're going to be in his or her area to handle something, and you want to take him or her to lunch and tell your spur about some cool things that have been happening in YOUR life.
This will make your devotee curious, and if you keep this conversation short and direct, He or She going to love your confidence. You're also being a leader and laying out a GAME PLAN that is easy for him or her to agree to. You're not saying, "Can I see you again? I really
miss you."
You're saying, "I've got some things to handle, I'll be in your area, let's do lunch on Saturday or Sunday - let me know which day works better for you -because I've got some cool things I want to tell you about."Okay, so what are the "cool things" that have been happening in your life that you'll want to tell her about? That's irrelevant.
Come up with something to tell him or her about when you see him or her. Maybe you've got an idea for a new business. Maybe you're thinking about taking martial arts classes. Maybe there is some new project you're working on. Maybe your best friend finally found a
serious girlfriend or boyfriend. Whatever!
That isn't the point.
You
mention the "cool thing" when you see him or her, and then you switch
gears and move the conversation onto other topics, and you CONTROL the
situation.
The point is, you're going to see him or her again, and this will be your opportunity to CHANGE him or her opinion of you and be the confident, smooth, charming DEVOTEE you should have been all along. So when you wind up seeing him or her again, how should you handle the conversation and make your devotee feel HUGE attraction towards you?
The point is, you're going to see him or her again, and this will be your opportunity to CHANGE him or her opinion of you and be the confident, smooth, charming DEVOTEE you should have been all along. So when you wind up seeing him or her again, how should you handle the conversation and make your devotee feel HUGE attraction towards you?
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